Broken Pieces? Check. Shameful Scars? Check.

"He's not mad at you..."

What a concept.

"...He's not disapointed..."

What an idea.

"...His grace is greater still, than all of your wrong choices..."

Wow.

"...You can come as you are, with all your broken pieces, and all your shameful scars. The pain you hold in your heart, bring it all to Jesus...
You can come as you are."

There are few songs that have ever comforted me so much. I can't fully express how feel right now. I finally get it: I am loved, no matter what I do or have done. This wonderful guy, Jesus, I've been taught about all my life really does care that much for me. Where did this sudden revelation come from, you ask? A couple of good friends a.k.a. the most encouraging people I know.

Condensed version of the full story:
I was still stuggling with everything I wrote about in The F-word. My friend, Rachael, had been talking to me a lot but as hard as I tried, I just couldn't understand that I was actually loved by the King of Kings. Her prayers and constant encouragement helped me so much, but I just refused to get it. It just didn't make sense to me at all. A couple of nights ago, my friend, Megan, asked me how I was doing with everything. After we talked for a bit she told me to make a list of all the things I hated about myself, then go through and cross out each one and beside it write, "I am [blank] in Christ. He loves me." I did and let me tell you, it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Sitting on my bedroom floor, writing in the back of my old English notebook because it was all I could find, God changed my life again. He came in and tore apart every doubt and flaw I had, turning me into a truly forgiven person. Being told to make that list was one of the best gifts I have ever recieved and probably ever will. I finally understand what it means to be made new in Christ. I cannot put into words what it means to me. To condense it all a little more, God is not Mr. Darcy from Pride and Predjudice, when he says to Elizabeth, "My good opinion once lost is lost forever." It took me a while to figure that out.

I'll close with a verse on this snowy afternoon in Hendersonville: "For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103: 11-12. There is a Casting Crowns song based off of this verse. I really REALLY like it.

One

If someone were to ask what interests me, the part of that has been instilled with the honesty of George Washington would cry out for me to answer, "People." People interest me. As much as I would love to write about everyone I have ever encountered, I am afraid a select few will have to suffice for this post.


Monica- Monica is scared. Before she even leaves her bedroom each morning, the fear finds her. She worries about what people will think if she wears a certain outfit or does her hair a certain way. When she gets to school, she is anxious about whether or not her teacher's see her as intelligent. Later, she has a fight with her sister and is afraid that that relationship has become unfixable. She wants to be stronger, but she just doesn't see how she can be. Monica is scared.

Clay- Clay is dissatisfied. He can't get comfortable in life. His friends like to talk about the top of the world as if it does not really exist, but he will not be content until he finds it. He is constantly searching for something better, something more. He needs an answer for everything. He refuses to accept that there are some things people just aren't supposed to understand. Clay is dissatisfied.

Jessie- Jessie is spiritless. She has given up on any chance at excitement. Her days, once rarely spent without an energetic smile, are now gloomy and full of unhappiness. The beginning of her moping came when she realized that there is little to actually live for, so she mopes. She wallows in self-pity. Her life has become a slow death. Jessie is spiritless.

Tom- Tom is arrogant, and for good reason too! He has always been the best at everything. He is CEO of a major business, and has the perfect life. His wife is a knock-out and his children are at the top of their class in school. His suburban home is always has a neatly trimmed lawn and he doesn't need the help of anyone else. His wealth and position have made him sure of his own might. Tom is arrogant.

Lisa- Lisa is unworthy, or so she believes. While most would call her little short of a saint, she sees herself as a disgusting pimple on the Earth. Members of her church see the good deeds she does and applaud her, but she hates it all. She firmly believes that every bad thing she has done overshadows any selfless act she could possibly do. Lisa is unworthy.

Jenny- Jenny is broken. It seems as if every person she has ever trusted has taken dagger to her battered heart. Her father, with his angry fists and wicked words, stole her security. The boy she thought she loved thieved her innocence from her with his lies. Her best friend, the one who was supposed to be there when no one else was, shattered her ability to trust when she replaced her. Jenny is broken.

Is everybody really all that different?

Dang it.

I had entire post written for today but I accidentally deleted it. I am a bit devastated at the moment so I'm just going to post this semi-random something.

Currently...

Reading: Letters from a Sceptic by Greg Boyd. (see my post about it)
Listening to: One Thing by Finger Eleven
Writing: Letters to friends.
Preparing for: The University of Kentucky Drill Meet with MCJROTC.
Attempting to: Manage my time better.
Wearing: Auburn University rain jacket. Just so everyone remembers, they are NATIONAL CHAMPIONS.

A Bible verse for today: "For he will command his angels concerning you  to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." Psalm 91: 11-12