Broken Pieces? Check. Shameful Scars? Check.

"He's not mad at you..."

What a concept.

"...He's not disapointed..."

What an idea.

"...His grace is greater still, than all of your wrong choices..."

Wow.

"...You can come as you are, with all your broken pieces, and all your shameful scars. The pain you hold in your heart, bring it all to Jesus...
You can come as you are."

There are few songs that have ever comforted me so much. I can't fully express how feel right now. I finally get it: I am loved, no matter what I do or have done. This wonderful guy, Jesus, I've been taught about all my life really does care that much for me. Where did this sudden revelation come from, you ask? A couple of good friends a.k.a. the most encouraging people I know.

Condensed version of the full story:
I was still stuggling with everything I wrote about in The F-word. My friend, Rachael, had been talking to me a lot but as hard as I tried, I just couldn't understand that I was actually loved by the King of Kings. Her prayers and constant encouragement helped me so much, but I just refused to get it. It just didn't make sense to me at all. A couple of nights ago, my friend, Megan, asked me how I was doing with everything. After we talked for a bit she told me to make a list of all the things I hated about myself, then go through and cross out each one and beside it write, "I am [blank] in Christ. He loves me." I did and let me tell you, it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Sitting on my bedroom floor, writing in the back of my old English notebook because it was all I could find, God changed my life again. He came in and tore apart every doubt and flaw I had, turning me into a truly forgiven person. Being told to make that list was one of the best gifts I have ever recieved and probably ever will. I finally understand what it means to be made new in Christ. I cannot put into words what it means to me. To condense it all a little more, God is not Mr. Darcy from Pride and Predjudice, when he says to Elizabeth, "My good opinion once lost is lost forever." It took me a while to figure that out.

I'll close with a verse on this snowy afternoon in Hendersonville: "For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103: 11-12. There is a Casting Crowns song based off of this verse. I really REALLY like it.